Friday, July 18, 2008

and yet the opening of another new chapter.

Yes, it's been a while since I've updated, but I just haven't been ready to do it as my next update would be a pretty hard topic to discuss.

Well, i figure there's no better time than now. I suppose it'll never get any easier. by the way, this will be a long post.

I met Eddie Sedillo, my best friend, in 1986. He was a dorky kid with thick glasses who was just trying to save his girlfriends honor, and didn't realize what he was getting in to. It seems that my little sister, a nightmare in her own right with a really bad reputation, and Ed's girlfriend Shereen were having a spat and the rumor was that my lil sis was going to turn her face in to road kill. Ed, feeling that he should step up and save his girlfriends butt, decided to confront me instead. After I laughed in his face for approximately 30 seconds he decided to throw a punch, a seriously telegraphed punch on top of that. I caught his fist in my hand and asked him if he really wanted to do this? he said no and walked off. He avoided me completely for about a week, then one day he came over to my table at lunch and apologized. This started a friendship that lasted 22 years.

We were inseparable for the next 3 years of school, even though there were 3 other guys in our close group, Ed and I could always be found together. All the trouble one of us got in, the other was there to take the blame also so that the other didn't have to do it alone. During the one fight that Ed go into I was there to back him up and make sure that no one else jumped in. While growing up, I lived in a renovated dis-connected garage, My Grandmother always knew that Eddie would be there. on Friday and Saturday mornings. What she didn't know is that we were hung over like a mo-fo and we couldn't sneak in or out of his house with any ease, it was just more simple to go to my place to crash.

In our junior year of high school, I started a band with one of my good friends and Ed got in with a different crowd, a crown that i didn't want to be a part of and we kind of went our separate ways off and on over the course of the next year. Ed got heavy into drugs and alcohol to the point that he started missing school and getting in serious trouble with the law. He received a DUI one evening and was so drunk that he resisted arrest and was firmly beaten. We had a kind of intervention and was able to get him back enough to finish high school and graduate successfully.

Ed and I maintained a great friendship through a marriage(mine), a child(his), the death of his mother and numerous, numerous alcoholic binges (both of ours). Though we didn't talk as much, the friendship was always there and we knew that we could always count on each other to be there if needed. Not long after I had divorced, Ed and I decided to be roommates and get an apt in Corona. Needless to say, it did not go well, I hadn't realized how bad Ed's drinking had become and it was starting to wear thin. The death of his mother took the biggest toll on Ed and his drinking. Everywhere Ed went i had to go also so that i could make sure that nothing happened to him. His drinking took all his senses and through them out the window. Had i not been there, who knows if Ed would have made it home most of those night. The Culmination of Ed's drinking and my anger came to a head in 1998 when I found out that he had slept with my girlfriend after she came home from a party drunk and i was out of town. it was the weekend we were starting to move out. I advised him to get his stuff and be gone before i get back or things would be getting worse for him. When i got home, he was there with his father. he took me out on the patio to try and talk but i wasn't interested in that at all, I hit him in the stomach breaking 3 of his ribs and threw him off the second story balcony. We didn't talk for 5 years.

I showed up at Ed's house Christmas eve 2003 at the urging of some very dear friends. it was like old times. It was good to see someone i had spent so much of my life with. Ed was married to a girl that he had known when we were friends before. Though i was glad to be back in touch with him, I knew that he wasn't the person i had became friends with so many years ago. There was always a sadness in him when it was just him and I. I knew that this was because of the empty spot left from his mothers death, and there was nothing anyone could say or do to fill that void. Ed and his wife divorced a year after we started talking again and his alcoholism got worse. We remained friends, but spending time with someone who was so drunk he couldn't stand wasn't on my list of prized activities.

In January of this year, Ed asked if I'd move in to his house with him to share the bills and try and help fix the house up to sell, Hoping i could help my friend out, I reluctantly agreed. I had my doubts about the arrangement, but he agreed that he would cut down on the alcohol and any other illegal "medicinal" activities. Well, i found out how truthful the word of an alcoholic is the first week we were in the house, which i should have known growing up with an alcoholic mother and father, But i had kept my hopes high. The first weekend we were in the house Ed and I got in to a major scuffle and didn't talk for a few days to cool off. He stayed in his room almost 24 hours throughout the whole ordeal. When he finally came out and we talked he said that all he did in his room was talk himself in to hanging himself. I went off on him and told him that he had a 13 year old son to worry about, and that suicide is a chicken shit way out, but i could tell he wasn't listening. It seemed that things were going well for a while and he seemed to be looking forward to several things, which Ed never did. I was hopeful that he had got his wits about him and was ready to move forward with life.

On Wednesday April 23rd, My girlfriend and I were watching the Lakers play the Nuggets in game two of the NBA playoffs. During the first quarter I had gone out to get more to drink and saw Ed talking on his phone. At halftime I went out to go workout and found that the Extension cord was missing. I went and knocked on Ed's door, there was no answer so i knocked again, nothing. I walked around to the sliding glass door to see if he was in the backyard with the dog's. It was dark but i could faintly make him out, It wasn't until a second later that i managed the full sight and recognized the cord and that he had indeed hung himself from the back patio cover. From that point everything was a blur and seemed to slow down. I ran inside and grabbed my phone and a knife. I yelled at my girlfriend to go out and wait for the police as I was on the phone with the 911 operator, I ran in the back yard was cutting him down when i heard the sirens. in the next instance the police, ambulance and fire dept were there attempting to revive him. He was transported to Corona regional hospital and was put on life support where he stayed for a week. I lived at the hospital along with Ed's family while waiting to see if there would be any change. There were few that had any hope, he had zero brain function, and his kidneys and liver were failing him. His father, along with many in the family, came to a very very tough decision, a decision that no doubt, would affect me the rest of my life.

The machines were turned off and Edward Cabanzon Sedillo, 35 years old, ceased to live on April 30th 2008 at 3:42pm.

He is missed.


Blogger the mama said...


i cannot say anything... i am totally floored.

just know that i think of you often and keep you in my thoughts.

- mama.

Saturday, July 19, 2008 11:31:00 PM  
Blogger birdman said...

sometimes the crazy relationships are the deepest felt.

It is tough but you would not be who you are without him... so that little piece will always be there.

Sunday, July 20, 2008 6:32:00 PM  
Blogger imaaudioslave said...

im usually not at a loss for words but this time i am...all i can say is sorry there as much as you can for his son..

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 10:53:00 AM  
Blogger Wrider II said...

I am also at a loss for words.. Ed's life is forever intertwined with yours. I'm sorry for your loss.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 5:27:00 PM  
Blogger cteed said...

OMG. Ed was one of my favorite people in high school. I heard a rumor about this, and just found this blog. I saw him a couple years ago out for dinner with my wife. I am so bummed that this happened. He was such a great guy.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010 9:50:00 PM  
Blogger cteed said...

OMG. Ed was one of my favorite people in high school. I heard a rumor about this, and just found this blog. I saw him a couple years ago out for dinner with my wife. I am so bummed that this happened. He was such a great guy.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010 9:50:00 PM  

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